This Blooming in me
by Tainted Rose Wings
Summary: Merlin thought Arthur's accusations were completely ridiculous. There was no way he could like the Lady Morgana until he actually began to realize he did like her. Faced with helping Morgana who's only just found her magical abilities and his feelings for her Merlin will have to make a choice between revealing his magic or not. Can he trust her? Or will their feeling be doomed?


**Disclaimer! **I do not own Merlin or any other of the characters however I do own the plot bunnies that made me think of this concept =P

**A/N!** Another Merlin story for all of your enjoyment! Soon I should have another chapter out for Gentle Strength as well as my Ghost Hunt story! So happy I'm writing again! This fic takes place after Merlin and Morgana comes back from the druid's camp and Arthur thinks Merlin's got a crush on Morgana cause of the flowers XD. Hope you all enjoy this Merlin fanfic~

**Chapter 1 - Merlin**

"_This has to end. If the King found out about your affections he'd have your head…"_

The Prince's words still made him chuckle at the thought of _him_ of all people having feelings for Lady Morgana. Merlin stopped slowly as he passed the hall that led to her bed chambers and looked down it. He could not deny that yes she was beautiful, yes he may have a soft spot for her and yes so he may sympathize but all this merely because he knew how she must feel and he did not want her to feel so…lost. He could still remember the look in her eyes. That terrified look of being so utterly alone. It saddened him and yet there was that slight tug at his chest as he remembered how she looked at him.

"_I will not forget this!"_

He ached a little at the memory of her words, of how vehemently she refused to leave him. He ran his hand through his ebony hair and shook his head. Why were Arthur's words about the Lady Morgana suddenly getting to him as of late! It was totally ridiculous! He did not have feelings for – "Merlin?"

"Lady Morgana!" Merlin's head turned sharply at the sound of her voice and his heart skipped a beat. He inwardly scowled at it but blushed slightly as he looked at her petite form, quizzically gazing at him with light eyes. He glanced away from her face as he said, "I-It isn't. I wasn't – I was just!"

He saw the amusement in her eyes and the slight tug upward of the corner of her lips. He found himself utterly fascinated with the way her lips did that and unintentionally began to stare until she cleared her throat, a light blush dusting her cheeks. His eyes immediately snapped away and glared at the wall, inwardly cursing Arthur for putting these useless thoughts into his head. "Did you need Gwen?"

"Gwen?" He looked at her in total confusion and then quickly realized she was giving him an excuse to use for why he was there whether intentional or not was unknown. "Oh! Yes Gwen! Um...yes you see I need her! I mean I want her…Oh bother! Could you tell Gwen I need to speak with her later?"

Without another word he darted off leaving a puzzled but amused Morgana in his wake as he cursed himself vehemently under his breath. What in the name of Old Religion was wrong with him? Since when did he get all flustered and tongue tied around Lady Morgana? "Merlin!"

"I didn't do anything!" Merlin yelped as he turned around to face the person yelling his name, only to find Arthur there looking at him like he had three heads. "What in heaven's name is wrong with you?"

Merlin shot him a dirty look before he spoke, walking back towards his prince's chambers which he had accidently passed while thinking. "Nothing's wrong with me, _sire_."

"_Mer_lin…"

"Shut up?"

"Very good." Merlin rolled his eyes in fond annoyance at Arthur's comment. Honestly he'd begun to feel more and more at ease with the Prince, almost like he was the brother he never had. It was a good feeling…until he remembered his little secret. Then the little fantasy would come tumbling down quite violently. Sometimes it even made him physically ill to know just how much of his life was a lie. Merlin quickly helped Arthur dress, pushing the thoughts away in turn of busying himself with his Prince's regular list of chores for him. Instead Arthur said, "I need you with me today Merlin. It turns out there are some important people coming to have an audience with my father and he wants me and Morgana to be there."

At the mention of Morgana's name Merlin's clumsiness kicked in and he tripped, sending a bucket of water tumbling over and all over the floor. "Damn it, Merlin! What is wrong with you today?"

"I'm sorry, sire." Merlin apologized meekly, unable to retort back since it was his fault. The past few days since the whole event with Morgana, things had changed drastically for Merlin. He'd become a bit more flustered in her presence or even by the mention of her and therefore all the more clumsy. He followed behind Arthur quietly while the prince muttered about incompetent servants however the edge of the insult had long been lost ever since they'd grown closer. "Merlin, do try to refrain from your usual idiotic antics while in the meeting."

Arthur had noticed the change in his servant as the days went by after he advised his servant against what he'd begun to suspect as growing feelings for the King's ward. The mention of the Lady Morgana either sent his servant deep into his thoughts or had him becoming more clumsy than usual. Arthur worried about his manservant, he cared about Merlin and he didn't want him getting hurt. He was almost like the little brother he wished he'd had. He didn't know when these feelings erupted but he hoped it would not cause the ebony haired young man any pain. He knew all too well it could only end badly. With that he resigned himself to just watching and advising his young friend with a little bit of bullying of course.

Merlin avoided looking at Lady Morgana through the whole meeting, not paying attention to anything in particular for fear that he'd glance at her. He didn't know why but even though the idea of having any sort of romantic affection was ridiculously amusing he could not deny the slight skip his heart would do whenever she looked at him with those strong willed but haunted eyes. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he glanced over to where Lady Morgana sat, only to catch her eyes as she stared at him. He felt heat cross his cheeks and shifted to his other foot as he glanced away quickly. Mother's mercy he could not believe he was reduced to a blushing flustered young boy. He cleared his throat lightly but Arthur heard and glanced at him with a perplexed look only to look at Morgana. Merlin noticed the slight widening of his eyes and cursed, knowing Arthur connected the dots. However, Merlin refused to meet his or Morgana's eyes. He felt a slight tingle in the back of his mind and frowned, the feeling was familiar. He unconsciously glanced at Morgana and nearly choked as she hid a smile behind her hand. She'd done that to get his attention, it was a similar feeling he got whenever the druids were about to mind speak with him. He began to cough as he tried to bite down his surprised noise and Arthur looked at him worriedly. He hurriedly excused himself before darting off, only to bump into Gwen.

"Gwen!"

"Merlin! My you startled me. Oh! Lady Morgana told me you wanted to speak with me?" Merlin made a small distressed noise in the back of his throat before grabbing Gwen's hand and dragging her into an empty room. He began to pace in the middle of the room as he muttered, "No this can't be happening. I don't. It's not possible! No, no, no, no…"

"Merlin, what's wrong? What's happening?" Gwen looked worriedly at Merlin, there were very few times she'd seen him looked so distressed and it worried her. She cared for Merlin, dearly. He'd always been so kind to her and he always put a smile on her face. She hated seeing him like this. However, before she could say anymore he suddenly whirled on her. "Gwen! How do you know when you…have _affection_ for someone?"

He said the word affection as though it was a dreaded disease and she frowned. Knowing very well what he was getting at and for a moment she worried that it might be something treasonous. "Well…"

She started out slowly, feeling her way into the conversation with caution as she watched his face carefully. "You think about them constantly. You don't know what to say to them yet you want to say everything to them. Your heart sometimes hurts and speeds up and – Merlin! Whatever is the matter?"

She looked at her friend in surprise when he groaned in dismay. His body suddenly slumping forward in defeat as he shook his head and looked at Gwen forlornly while he said "Gwen…I think I'm beginning to have…_affections_ for royalty, for Lady Morgana…"

Gwen's mouth clicked shut audibly and she looked at Merlin in surprise. She blinked a couple of times until she registered what Merlin said. She couldn't believe it…Merlin, Merlin liked Morgana. How? When? _Why_? "Merlin…Merlin, how-"

"Please don't ask me. Please, Gwen. Some things happened and before I knew it…these…_feelings_ came. I blame the bloody prat for putting the idea in my head in the first place!" Merlin growled out the last part and damned Arthur's assumptions. He never would have realized if he'd just left it alone. Bloody prat of a prince. Merlin could also blame how much more warmer and open Morgana had become with him for his realized feelings but he couldn't. He knew all too well how that could be. Having to constantly hide the magic, not having anyone to open up to about it but wanting someone you could be completely open with. It almost made him want to tell her about his own magic but then Gaius's words came back to him every time.

"_No one must ever know about your talents!"_

Merlin sighed and raked a hand through his hair and taking pity on her friend Gwen sat next to him and took his hand in a comforting manner. He gave her a small smile in answer to her comfort. "Oh Merlin, however do you get yourself into these situations?"

Merlin snorted in answer because he truly didn't know. The thought of caring for her wasn't so bad, it was the threat it posed to himself and his secrets that made the idea…displeasing in a way. Gwen caressed his hand and let the comforting feeling sooth him for a moment before she spoke. "What is so wrong with caring for my Lady Morgana?"

Merlin gave a small self-demeaning chuckle that made even Gwen wince at the sound. "You mean other than the fact that I'm a servant and she's the King's ward? Many things are wrong with it and besides Gwen I am nothing but a confidant to her."

Gwen hated seeing her friend like this and with a final decision she said, "I'm going to talk to Lady Morgana. I'll very discreetly ask her about…well about you and how she sees you. You never know, Merlin."

Merlin sighed and began shaking his head but before he could get a word in Gwen was already out the door and going towards her Lady's chambers. Merlin let out a long suffering groan and cursed his horrible luck.


End file.
